National Sexual Assault Awareness Month (and yes, I'm still alive)

This is the clichéd-yet-obligatory "I'm not dead" intro. I haven't posted in this blog for several months, due to personal and family goings-on. But I've decided that it's time to start writing again, because--among other reasons--this is the end of April. April is National Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and I wanted to share some thoughts about it.

Whether you know it or not, rape, incest and sexual assault affect everyone. If you haven't been a victim yourself, someone you know and care about almost certainly has. These are crimes that are woefully underreported, by male survivors most of all:

Many people don't take male sexual assault seriously. This is one of the reasons why male victims have a difficult time reporting what happened and why the rates of male sexual assault are thought to be significantly underreported. If a male survivor's friends think that male sexual assault is a joke, he will feel isolated and afraid to tell anyone. Sexual assault is a painful, traumatic experience for any victim.

The National Center for PTSD elaborates:

There is a bias in our culture against viewing the sexual assault of boys and men as prevalent and abusive. Because of this bias, there is a belief that boys and men do not experience abuse and do not suffer from the same negative impact that girls and women do. However, research shows that at least 10% of boys and men are sexually assaulted and that boys and men can suffer profoundly from the experience. Because so few people have information about male sexual assault, men often suffer from a sense of being different, which can make it more difficult for men to seek help.

There is some controversy over statistics regarding the prevalence of male versus female sexual assault in this country. I will not address the controversy here, as I have not done enough research to speak as an authority on this issue. Most statistics I have found indicate that women are victims of rape and sexual assault much more frequently than men. But it is clear that rape, sexual assault, and other forms of abuse* affect all genders. And sexual violence or abuse of anyone is unacceptable.

Here are some ways you can help a loved one who has been raped or sexually assaulted. Most of these guidelines apply or can be adapted to help a victim/survivor of physical assault or domestic violence. Self-care is also imperative, though often difficult. Please see the links near the bottom of the webpage for some guidelines regarding self-care, for friends and family members as well as for survivors.

If you have been a victim of rape or sexual assault, you can get help by calling the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE(4673). If you are currently a victim of domestic violence and need help, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE(7233). (Please keep in mind that computer and phone use can be monitored.) You are not alone, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You need not listen to the voices of abusers anymore.


* WARNING: This video contains graphic, disturbing images of real violence, which may be triggering to some. If you have been a victim of assault, battering, or other forms of domestic violence and have symptoms of post-traumatic stress, please do not watch this video unless you are in a safe place by yourself or with people you trust, and are confident that you can watch it without being triggered. If you feel triggered after watching this video, try watching something cute and fuzzy to help you calm down. If you experience a flashback while watching this video and do not feel safe, please call a trusted friend or a crisis hotline such as the Life Crisis Line in St. Louis, MO (314-647-4357).

World AIDS Day 2008

In addition to being the birthday of two friends of mine, today is World AIDS Day. So I feel a certain somberness even as I celebrate.

Many advances have been made in the treatment of HIV/AIDS since it was first discovered, but the treatments are expensive and inaccessible to millions of poor persons all over the world who are HIV-positive. Knowledge of advances in treatment has led some to engage in risky behavior, unaware of the expense of the treatments and failing to take into account the fact that these treatments are not cures. In spite of scientific progress, HIV is still a deadly disease, and recent efforts to create a vaccine have led to disappointment.

As well, significant stigma still surrounds infection. Some still view HIV/AIDS as a gay disease; thus the stigma surrounding the gay community falls on sufferers of this horrible illness. Although there is less stigma now than there was in the past, it is still a heavy and unfair burden to carry on top of that of the relentless retrovirus.

In light of these facts, defensive pessimism may be the best way to deal with the HIV infection of oneself or of a loved one. There is reason to be cautiously hopeful, though. Scientific research continues, and public health policies are being reevaluated. The idea, based on a mathematical model, that AIDS could be virtually eliminated within ten years, may be unrealistic, but at least one study says that it is theoretically possible.